When I first began my training to be a Hand in Hand Parenting instructor, I immersed myself in the Hand in Hand tools for a whole year. I had weekly calls with an experienced instructor, and an online forum where every one of my parenting questions could be answered.

The support was amazing, it allowed me to internalise how to use these tools fully, and although it wasn’t a magic wand that turned me into the perfect parent, it did give me a map to know where I was going, and show me the way, even if getting there wasn’t always completely easy.

Experiencing that intensive level of support gave me faith in this approach, that no matter what we are going through, there is always an answer that we can figure out with enough listening time, along the way.

Whether you are just beginning your Hand in Hand Parenting journey, or you’re feeling like you need a refresher, I’m offering a whole nine week book club to focus on your parenting.

We’ll work through reading my book Tears Heal: How to listen to our children at a rate of two chapters a week, allowing you to gradually build up your Hand in Hand toolkit, or re-inspire you if you’d like to deepen the connection with your child.

Spaces are filling up fast, so if you’d like to join me please contact me to reserve yours!

Would you like a peaceful holiday season free of sibling rivalry?

Hand in Hand Parenting’s Taming Sibling Rivalry online course is only $9 for this weekend.

Use the code: ‘peace’ at the checkout.

When it comes to our kids wanting screentime, it’s always good to look at what’s going on in the moment. Is their need for screentime because they need something to escape feelings of boredom, to zone out, or numb themselves?

Most of the time, what children want and need more than screentime is connection. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t have screens in our lives. Screens can be a great educational resource for learning about the world, TV shows can tell stories, and enrich our lives. Also, lets be honest, screens can act as babysitters when we are overwhelmed and just feel like we need a break.

However it’s great to substitute screentime when you notice your child is disconnected. And it’s great to remember that no matter how much your child is asking for screentime, what will benefit them more is connection with you.

So this Giggle Parenting game is called ‘Channel Mummy’ (or daddy). It can be used when you need to set a limit with TV, or the iPad, and your child perhaps sneaks away and turns it on.

Get close to your child, in between the electronic device, and them. Make eye contact. Be playful. Say something really silly like, ”hello, and welcome to channel Mummy, I’m here to entertain you today!”

Let your child try to escape, and keep coming back to get connection. Wrestle in between their arms and the ipad, so that they see you and not the screen. Keep talking and pretending to be a tv channel, setting a limit but in a playful way; for example, ”I’m sorry but channel mummy is the only channel on today, we’ve had to cancel the other ones. We are SO sorry and we hope you do enjoy watching.”

Your child may find it hilarious and enjoy wrestling and laughing much more fun than watching the screen.

You might also like The Giggle Parenting Guide To ipad Wrestling and What to do when your child just wants to watch TV

My daughter is six now, and many of my Giggle Parenting ideas for younger children are a little worn out now. So now I’m needing to develop new more ‘sophisticated’ ideas!

This is one that she finds hilarious, and works in a number of situations, whenever you feel like your child needs more connection, or you just want to have fun!

So, take an everyday situation like cleaning teeth, or getting ready to leave the house (it could be anything really). Maybe your child is in a grump and doesn’t want to do it, or seems distracted and can’t seem to co-operate.

To begin you just need to role-play that you are a ‘perfect parenting instructor,’ and that you are going to make a video to demonstrate how easy it is to get your child to do what you want with your amazing parenting tips.

So while addressing an imaginary audience say something like;

”hello and welcome to my perfect parenting show. I’m ____ and I’d like to introduce you to my lovely child ___  who always does what I want. I’m going to show you just how easy it is to get your kid to do what you want. So when it comes to cleaning teeth, it’s really very simple, you just put the toothpaste on their brush, hand it to them, and then they just start cleaning.”

This is their cue, to actually not do what you want. My daughter takes great delight, in ‘ruining’ my videos by making funny faces at the imaginary camera, running away when I’m trying to get her to do something. I then act playfully annoyed, pausing the video, or whispering to her so the ‘viewers’ can’t hear, that she’s ruining my reputation as a perfect parenting instructor, by not co-operating.

My daughter has some youtube toy videos she follows and is familiar with the idea of subscribers, so I pretend I’ve looked on my computer and lost subscribers because of her antics, and then she does things, like turns my channel into a singing-dancing one for kids, and I end up getting lots of complaints from parents!

This is a fun role-play that can go in many directions depending on how your child responds. It puts them in the more powerful role, so it is building the connection needed for genuine co-operation. For more info, about the Giggle Parenting approach check out Giggle Parenting: The best discipline tool out there! 

 

 

On cold January days it can be hard to get motivated sometimes. I know I often feel better once I get out there and see people, but sometimes transitioning out of the house can be hard.

When it comes to our children we can use Giggle Parenting to help. Today I had to get to the Post Office which is literally next door to my house and yet my daughter was reluctant to go.

So I rolled up a blanket, and playfully tried to catch her and wrap it up and pull her to the door in it, while she tried to escape and run away.

We ended up elaborating on this where I pretended that I was making a youtube video, and my channel was for Giggle Parenting fans. So I addressed the audience telling them that I was going to share a simple trick for getting children out the door, and made a big deal of how easy it was and how co-operative my daughter was. Then I’d try it out and she’d wriggle out of the blanket and run away and laugh.

We played this for quite a while, by which time my husband came home and had been to the Post Office for us! But the main thing is we had fun, and I knew that next time I needed to gain my daughter’s co-operation she would be much better connected after this play.

For more tips for getting out of the house check out my  list of 15 tips here 

And if you’d like to shake off the winter blues and become more connected to your children then join my starter class starting 24th January.

Today in the US it’s thanksgiving, and to celebrate Hand in Hand Parenting have an amazing sale on all of their online Parent Rescue Squad Courses. I love these and still find them a constant source of inspiration even after years working as an instructor. So whether you are just beginning Hand in Hand Parenting, or want to deepen your understanding they are wonderful.

Use the code THANKS9 at the checkout and you can get all of these online courses for just $9

 

 

I just came back from a Hand in Hand Parenting instructor retreat in Romania. 26 instructors and instructors to be gathered together to work on our deepest feelings, and fill our cups for the challenging work of parenting.

I came away reminded that so much of what makes parenting hard can be fixed with enough time and listening, that so many of the obstacles in the way belong to the past.

The 7 Day Listening Partnership is where you get the chance to connect with other parents around the world who have all committed to having listening time for seven days straight. The last challenge was a great success with parents making long-term connections with each other, and experiencing the life-changing effects of listening partnerships.

Here’s some feedback I received about the last challenge.

”Thanks to Kate for this challenge. I have a regular LP but we don’t talk nearly enough and I was already aware of needing more LP time, this week has confirmed that for me. I love all the tools but I don’t think i can do the others nearly as effectively as I need to if I don’t up my LP time, especially since I have an emotional project in the works for each of my kids. Thanks to all who have listened to me and talked with me this week. This has been the best week I’ve had in a long time, and I’m feeling so hopeful for the future and happy to have found at least one new regular partner. I hope everyone is getting as much out of this as I am, and if not I hope you keep trying until you find a good fit in a Listening Partner. ”

”I wanted to thank Kate and all of my listening partners over the last week. I had never done a Listening Partnership before and before this week I was looking for every excuse to back out. I am so happy I didn’t. It felt amazing to be heard and I was surprised at how much I enjoyed listening. It let me know that there are so many amazing moms out there who love their kids so deeply.
After a listening time, I walked away feeling connected and calm. There is something powerful about being 100% honest about your feelings and actions and listening to someone else be 100% honest with you. There is rarely a point in the day when I can be totally myself without fear of judgement and I was able to release emotions and finally start working on some things after my listening partnership. It is so wonderful to know I have other moms out there I can reach out to at anytime. 
I know it is already positively impacting my parenting. I am able to be less reactive in the moment and more aware of trying to build connection with daughters throughout the day – instead of thinking of ‘consequences’ for behavior. It has also helped my friendships and marriage by not trying to make everyone else in my life my listening partner – which was not working so well! Thanks again! I wish everyone the best!”

”Can I just say thank you to Kate for bringing us all together? I’ve had an amazing week so far and it’s really got me thinking as to how I can bring intense bursts of daily LPs into my life more (if not all the time!). THANK YOU Kate Orson :)”

”Hi! Thank you Kate for organizing this wonderful challenge! I feel so relaxed even in stressful situations! :)”

”Thank you for setting up this challenge! I was apprehensive before about the idea of opening up to people I have never met, and different people each day. I have been surprised with how easy and mutual it has been. Feeling very supported. :-)”

”i love the way I can learn how to listen better by doing LP with a number of people. I am touched by the personal sharing and it makes me feel like part of a greater family. At first I thought I’d have to explain my life history to each one. Actually I could start with what’s going on now and sometimes it lead back to the past but I didn’t need to explain anything. I think it’s a great tool. I was amazed to see how many people were ready to do this challenge.”

”Thank you for setting up the challenge. It’s been great getting to know other women this week so far and telling my story to new people. I also realized how far I have come since a year ago. Always room for improvement but still!”

”Looking forward to this new day of listening! I had great meetings and met some amazing people ( you know who you are!). Thanks Kate for putting together this event! Hugs!”

The next challenge will start on Monday November 6th. If you’d like to join here’s what you need to do.

1. Make sure you’ve read either Tears Heal or Listen by Monday November 6th, so you are familiar with Hand in Hand Parenting, and how listening partnerships work.

2. Be ready to commit to listening time of at least 10 minutes each way for 7 days. (subject to the availability of the other participants who join)

3.  Send me a message via facebook with your email address and I will add you to my secret ‘Listening Partnership Challenge’ Facebook group.

4. On the group you’ll find the link to a doodle poll where you can add your availability.

5. You can then connect with fellow parents who are available at the time you need, and hopefully set up 7 listening times with participants around the world.

6. I’ll post daily topics on the facebook group, that you can discuss in your listening time, or simply follow where your mind goes. You can post about how it’s all going, and if your schedule changes you can look for listening partners.

If you’re open to making new connections, and seeing where this leads, then please sign up! And please share with any friends who might be interested.

If you’re completely new to the idea of listening time then you can read my introductory post here.