Yesterday I was watching an episode of The Gilmore Girls where Lorelei is trying to return an ice-cream maker that she was given as anonymous wedding present – for a wedding that she’d called off.
As she’s frantically phoning distant relatives to find the giver, her friend Suki confronts her saying, ‘’it’s not about the ice-cream maker.’’
She recognised that her desperation to return the gift had more to do with her feelings about her relationship than trying to return the gift.
Whether we are adults or children our feelings work in the same way. We often have huge feelings about something going on in the present, often without conscious understanding of what the issue is really about.
In fact as human beings we rarely live in ‘present time’ – our feelings are often related more to past hurts, and future worries than they are to do with what’s going on in the here and now.
And when it comes to parenting the good news is that it’s often not what’s going on in the present day that’s the real challenge, but the past baggage that’s making things seem harder.
Would you like to spend 9 weeks taking a deep dive into learning to untangle the present from the past?
In my Tears Heal book club we’ll spend each week work talking about present day parenting challenges, and tracing them back to their roots in the past.
This process of reading, being listened to, and getting all your parenting questions answered can help you be the parent you want to be, without stress and baggage weighing you down.
The Tears Heal book club
Date: Monday 2nd March
Contact me if you’d like to sign up or have any questions.
Photo Credit: Sheri Silver