Do you ever feel like your children are using you as a ‘punchbag’ for all their negative feelings? Do you ever feel worn out by the anger, whining, and meltdowns, and feel like you can’t take anymore? Do you ever wonder what you are doing ‘wrong’ to attract such negativity from your children?
If this this sounds like a common scenario in your household, then don’t despair. The fact that your child actually shows their more challenging feelings to you, is a really good sign! It actually means they feel safe to share how they feel, rather than hide and suppress your emotions.
But it’s challenging for us parents who often find our own emotions getting in the way of supporting our children. Our own emotions can make it hard to think straight, and figure out when we need to set limits on behaviour, and when we need to simply allow feelings and listen.
Luckily, there’s a way out of this situation.
1. Listening time – Hand in Hand Parenting, is one of the very few (perhaps only!) parenting approaches that puts supporting parents at the centre of our philosophy. We know that the first step to feeling, and thinking well as a parent is to have enough support for ourselves. Listening time is a simple exchange of talking and listening between two parents, that helps you to release negative feelings that get in the way of being the parent you want to be.
2. Good parenting advice. We have tools to help you handle those negative feelings, so that children can come out the other side feeling (and behaving better)
You can learn all this in my book Tears Heal: How to listen to our children.
And if you want to start learning about these tools I will be running an online book club, starting next month. We’ll spend 9 weeks reading a couple of chapters of the book each week, and then putting them into practise. Each week we’ll meet on Zoom to discuss how it’s all going and do listening time together. You’ll get to meet other parents, and feel part of the Hand in Hand Parenting community.
New dates starting Monday 8th October, 9.30am GMT. Space is limited to six parents, so contact me now if you’d like to book a place or have any questions.